


Rubber Renner

by jayofmo



Category: Actor RPF
Genre: Gen, Superpowers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-18
Updated: 2018-04-18
Packaged: 2019-04-24 14:45:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,853
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14357649
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jayofmo/pseuds/jayofmo
Summary: Sometime ago, I was given my normal commission fee and the request to do a story in which Jeremy Renner has elastic powers. This is what I came up with, and the fact that it plays with a real world setting with one weird alteration has made it one of my favorite short stories that I've written.Some of the details about Avengers: Infinity War I wrote have proven to not be accurate, but hey, this was October 2017 when we assumed we'd have the full crew in the movie.





	Rubber Renner

     “Tonight on a special edition of _20/20_ ,” announced David Muir as the show began, “in 2012, Marvel’s _The Avengers_ appeared on our screens. Today, one of the cast members has unexpectedly come one step closer to being a superhero. Join us tonight as we catch up with the sudden turn in the career of Academy-nominated actor Jeremy Renner.”

     The anchor turned and the screen revealed the handsome actor with a contented smile on his face.

     “Thank you for joining us this evening, sir.”

     “It’s my pleasure.”

     “Now,” David continued with a chuckle, “this is quite the turn of events, rather unexpected. But… you have a superpower.”

     Jeremy nodded. “Yeah. I can stretch.”

     Not moving from his seat, he reached for a glass of water just out of range of the camera’s view. However, as he reached, he fully extended his arm without reaching it. However, his arm continued to move forward, growing out of the sleeve of his jacket. As he grasped the glass, his arm began to retract until it resumed its original length.

     He took a sip of water.

     “Took some getting used to.”

     David smiled and shook his head.

     “I’d scarcely believe it if I hadn’t seen it. So, the world wants to know, how did it happen?”

     The video switched over to an interview with Jeremy’s _Avenger_ _s_ co-star, Chris Evans.

     “Yeah, he was trying this experimental protein shake,” Chris was explaining. “Next thing you know, he’s stretching like a rubber band.”

     The video switched to another interview with Renner’s business partner Kristoffer Winters.

     “Yeah, he told me it happened because of a malfunctioning tanning bed,” Kristoffer chuckled.

     Amy Poehler appeared onscreen next.

     “While we were filming _The House_ ,” she was saying, “he told us he learned how to do it from a yoga instructor. I’m pretty sure that wasn’t the truth.”

     Further clips of directors and costars from projects Renner had worked on were played.

     “Coworkers and friends of Mr. Renner are commenting on this amazing turn of events,” David commented over the videos. “As are many on social media, using the hashtag #RubberRenner.”

     The view cut to Jeremy chuckling as he looked over some recent results on Twitter using a tablet.

     “‘As if my fantasies needed any more stimulating, #JeremyRubber, #RubberRenner,’” he read aloud. “‘Do you think that after the divorce #RubberRenner...’ well, that’s not appropriate for broadcast television,” he laughed.

     “Are any of these theories or stories about how you gained this ability true?” David asked.

     “One of them actually is!” Jeremy replied with a nod.

     “And are you going to tell us which one?”

     “No.”

     “Very well, we respect your right to privacy.”

     

     “ _Guys, something’s gone really bad!” called the director. “Jeremy just… melted!”_

     _The crew looked in shock and horror at the pile of clothes and shoes containing a flesh-colored lump of something rather like silly putty._

     “ _Jeremy?” one of the cast called. “Is this a prank? Please say yes and you’re not actually…”_

     _The lump began to squirm._

     “ _OH MY GOD!” yelled the producer, leaping back._

     _Jeremy’s head rose out of the lump._

     “ _Okay… this is new,” he said._

     _He began to rise up, carefully reforming his body inside his clothes._

     “ _Sorry, that… that has never happened to me before,” he explained. “Are we ready to film again?”_

     _The camera operator fainted._

     

     “Jeremy’s abilities are also the subject of intense scientific scrutiny,” David continued over shots of scientists examining x-rays and looking at samples through microscopes.

     “It’s a condition unlike anything we’ve seen before,” said one of the scientists. “His entire physical makeup has changed. He has no skeleton, no muscles, ligaments, veins or arteries. His entire body is a solid shape of his new elastic flesh. He has a sac inside that breaks down food into energy. It’s almost as if he skipped through billions of years of evolution to become a fully adaptable, efficient human.”

     The scene cut back to Jeremy being interviewed.

     “When they say ‘fully adaptable,’ what exactly do they mean?” David asked.

     “I’m able to change the shape of my body as I wish,” Jeremy replied. “Not only can I stretch, I can reshape into nearly anything I can think of or compress into small forms. So, I can increase or decrease my mass. That’s how they explained it to me. All I know is, it’s pretty cool.”

     “Would you care to demonstrate that?”

     Jeremy’s face began to distort, and in seconds he was a dead ringer for David.

     “And who’s that supposed to be?” David asked.

     Jeremy chuckled and resumed his normal face.

     “Okay, let me show you something a little more extreme,” he said.

     Jeremy stood up and began pulling off his shoes, then his jacket, tie, shirt and finally his pants, revealing a skin-tight purple singlet underneath.

     “My clothes don’t change shape with me,” he explained. “This getup does.”

     “Has this led to anyone offering you any roles?” David asked.

     “I’ve heard Fox is dusting off another Fantastic Four reboot,” Jeremy replied, “and that Warner is thinking of approaching me for Plastic Man, but I dunno. Don’t want to get typecast. Maybe I’d work with them for mocap or special effects since I’m the only person who can do what I do. After all, I do play a pretty cool superhero already.”

     “So, what are you about to do?”

     “Just showing off.”

     He returned to his seat, then pulled up his legs, tucking his ankles behind his head.

     “Okay, we’ve seen that before,” David commented.

     “Not this,” Jeremy chuckled before shrinking and rounding out into a perfect sphere about fifteen inches high.

     “Oh, quite impressive,” David observed.

     “Go ahead, give me a good bounce,” Jeremy said. “You know you want to.”

     David chuckled and stood up. He turned to the camera.

     “Reporting for _20/20_ , this has been David Muir.”

     He lifted Jeremy and tossed him to the floor, which he bounced off of fantastically.

     

     “And now our special guests for tonight,” announced James Corden, “stars of such films as _Captain America: Civil War_ and _Avengers: Infinity War_ , Jeremy Renner and Paul Rudd!”

     The live studio audience cheered enthusiastically as the two handsome gentlemen walked in from backstage and waved to the audience as they went to their seats. Jeremy wore his purple singlet under a pair of jeans, making it look as if he was wearing a tank top while Paul wore a casual suit.

     “Welcome, welcome, how’s it going?” James asked excitedly as the two actors took their seats on the couch.

     “Feeling great,” Paul said, “people are all abuzz about _Infinity War_ and _Ant-Man and the Wasp_ is tracking well, good to see the hard work we put in pay off.”

     “I’m feeling kind of limp,” Jeremy said flatly and let the left side of his body sag badly before pulling himself together and laughing.

     “How do you do that?” James asked, shaking his head in wonder.

     “Guess you could say it’s a trade secret.”

     “People have been wondering exactly happened to you,” James continued. “No hints at all?”

     “Well,” Paul said, “the thing is, it’s a miracle that Jeremy survived, much less having these powers. Basically, we don’t want to risk anyone trying to copy it and getting hurt or worse.”

     “All right, I get it,” James replied. He motioned to a screen. “Okay, Jeremy, mind explaining this picture to us?”

     Jeremy stretched his neck to look at the screen above them.

     “Oh, right,” he said. The picture was a photo of Chris Evans and Chris Hemsworth sitting on a purple love seat while Jeremy’s face poked out from the back.

     “It looks as if you’re about to pop out on your friends,” James continued, “but appearances can be tricky, can’t they?”

     “Oh, yeah. I’m not hiding behind the love seat. I am the love seat.”

     “Which is what his dates call him,” Paul commented with a smirk.

     Jeremy got up and slid his pants off.

     “I can demonstrate right now,” he said.

     “It just got very _Magic Mike_ in here and I am loving it!” James chuckled.

     Jeremy moved in front of the sofa and leaned over until his hands touched the floor. He looked up and then pulled his shoulders back as if he was sitting up. But instead of moving, this reshaped his body into a plush seat with his head poking out over the top.

     “Ta-dah!”

     The audience applauded as Paul got up and hurriedly sat on Jeremy.

     “Nice and cozy,” he chuckled.

     A pair of arms reached out and wrapped themselves around Paul’s waist.

     “Hang in there,” Jeremy said before inhaling. His chest grew to a massive size as he reduced his body to a mere balloon, using a special, nearly invisible earpiece to take in a special gas, making him lighter than air and lifting Paul a few feet off the stage.

     “That is incredible!” James exclaimed.

     “I can get bigger!” Jeremy called. He dropped Paul to the floor and continued to grow larger and larger, the singlet stretching out with his body like a giant balloon, the outlines of his chest and shoulders disappearing into a large, rough egg shape.

     “He’s getting too big!” yelled James as Jeremy began to push against the couch.

     “I got it,” Paul said, and pulled a large knitting needle out of his pocket.

     “You just carry that with you?” James asked.

     “We have an understanding!” Paul replied and poked Jeremy with it.

     The audience heard a loud “BANG!” and Jeremy seemed to disappear from the stage.

     “Where… where did he go?” James asked, looking around. “You… you didn’t…”

     “Relax, I’m sure he’s fine,” Paul added. He stepped behind the couch and lifted up a flattened Jeremy. He looked as if he was nothing more than a double-sided paper cutout of himself.

     “See?” Paul continued. “He’s just fine.”

     He rolled up Jeremy and handed him to James.

     “Is this actually him?” James asked in near disbelief.

     Paul nodded.

     “Duh,” came Jeremy’s muffled voice.

     The roll wiggled out of James’ hand and dropped to the floor, but by the time it actually hit the floor, Jeremy had unrolled himself, restored his body to its regular three-dimensional state and stood on the floor.

     “Ta da!” he called as Paul picked up Jeremy’s earpiece which had fallen off.

     “Jeremy Renner and Paul Rudd, everyone!” James called as the audience applauded.

     

     “All right,” Chris Evans sighed as he finished tying his shoelaces, “the night is young, fellas.”

     He clapped Jeremy on the back and the two headed out of the hotel room to meet up with Paul, who was waiting for their cab.

     “Sure we don’t want to catch ourselves on _The Late Late Show_?” Paul asked.

     “Why bother, we already lived it,” Jeremy commented as he wrapped his elongated arms around his two costars and gave them a huge hug. “Just, thanks for sticking with me. This whole… transition would’ve been a lot worse without you. Sometimes, you just need some good friends for support.”

     “Sure thing,” Chris added with a nod. “Anytime.”

     The taxicab pulled in, and the three actors got in, ready for a night out on the town.


End file.
